Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Apocalypso - Terrible Tuesday Tarballs Edition: Boots On The Ground

SICK AND TIRED, LITERALLY, OF HEARING ABOUT THE OIL SPILL?

I haven't been blogging too much lately, simply because it's much more fun to just stay away from the news and just immerse myself in the things I actually have control over and want to be involved with, like setting up a film company and making movies or just watching them. However, there are times when I just want to break out a baseball bat and go to town on injustice. The Gulf Oil Spill is just so horrific, I can't stay silent about it for very long and I think it helps to rant a little to let off some steam.

I have always been a follower of these universal constants in business, the KISS Principle [Keep It Simple, Stupid] and the IIABDFI Principle [IF It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It]. In the case of Be Pee and their Dirty Debacle, I say simply use that old Eminent Domain and take them over and seize their assets [without doing harm to their workers]. Next, deploy the military and accept offers from other countries to solve both the catastrophic leak and the damage to the Gulf Coast and GET IT DONE!

The President has a lot on his plate, to be sure, but the Gulf Oil Spill should be the number one thing to deal with right now. He tends to try to be the nice guy all the time and in this case, such a posture is not useful. Instead of just talking about "ass kicking," he needs to actually do it. I may take some heat for saying this, but Be Pee has essentially committed an act of war against America and this whole catastrophe has to be treated as such. Whether it was intended or not, the result is that life is being destroyed on an almost immeasurable scale and it needs to be dealt with, harshly.

Yes, we need oil (you'd be surprised at how many products we use that are petroleum based---like say, plastic), but we have plenty of sources for it here on land. This Drill Baby Drill mentality, pushed along of late by people like Hayley Barbour, governor of Mississippi, who has tried to minimize the devastation simply because he's in the pocket of the big oil companies, is like shooting our collective selves in the foot while buying new shoes.

We need, as a nation, to find alternative sources of energy and product resources. We throw away so much stuff (more than any other nation) that can be recycled, so perhaps some mandatory laws need to be passed to convert our refuse. Aside from that, this oil spill is certainly a wake up call about our bad habits, like say having 3 cars in the driveway and using one or all of them to drive two blocks to get a bottled water or a six dollar latte!

WALK! USE THE GODDAMN TAP WATER! ARE YOU TOO FUCKING LAZY TO BREW YOUR OWN COFFEE? HOW ABOUT INSTANT COFFEE FOR FUCK'S SAKE?!

Let's face it, we only seem to appreciate something when it is taken away. And seeing the Gulf Coast destroyed, especially the defenseless animals, certainly has me looking into living more Green. People should start investing in Green Industry, too, as the spill has soured, in more ways than one, America's love for oil.

All I know is, if I was a Pelican right now, I'd be beating the pee out of Be Pee executives with my beak.

Suck my tarballs, Be Pee!

HOW THE HELL ALVIN GREENE WON THAT SOUTH CAROLINA DEM PRIMARY

It's been said that this dim bulb, Alvin Greene, an unemployed, mentally challenged sex offender, was a Republican plant and that's how he won the primary. I am no fan of Republicans in any sense of the word, but even I know that's bollocks. Despite having no appreciable campaign or funding and being a bit slow on the uptake, Greene won over Vic Rawl obviously because of some kind of technical failure of the voting machines. I can't imagine thousands of folks just saying, "aw, fuck it" and choosing Greene over Rawl, who has a lot of credentials. Come on, people! Either somebody screwed around with the machines, or some shit is seriously broken. Obviously, a recount needs to be done along with stepping up the investigation of the manufacturers of these voting machines.

VAN DER SLOOT - INTERNATIONAL SERIAL KILLER ON HIS THIRD LAWYER

This piece of white trash, who's killed at least two women [possibly a great many more] has admitted to killing at least one of them, is apparently not satisfied with his appointed attorneys and is going through them like laundry...or female victims. All I can say is that I hope somebody, like maybe one of the parents of his victims shoots his ass so I don't have to hear about it on the news every five minutes.

GARY COLEMAN'S EX KILLED HIM TO JACK HIS ESTATE

There, I said it, and you know that I'm right. The cold 911 call, the pulling of the plug after one day on the life sustaining machines despite his will stating 15 days, the shilling of herself to reporters, the fight with his parents over his estate...do I have to go on? She stands as a reminder to me that 1. It will be a cold, cold day in Death Valley in the middle of August before I ever consider getting married again, 2. My will will be amended to state that vultures fighting over my estate will be shot.

ANNOYING WORDS AND PHRASES


Last year it was "vetted" and this year it's "boots on the ground." If I hear one more pundit or media flunky or wannabe official say "boots on the ground" I will personally place my right boot in their ass! Hard!

...and that's all the hubbub, bub.

Quantum Mechanic®