Saturday, September 14, 2013

My Credo

Brief soapbox time: It is my aim to seek the destruction of any political entity whose energy is focused on an unrelenting attack on the "least among these," defined as the poor, the disabled, children, and the elderly. The very definition of evil is to prey on those least able to defend themselves and I will do everything in my power, what little I have, to fight against this evil and destroy it wherever it rears its ugly head, for there is no greater purpose in life than to give a voice to those without one, and to give power to the powerless. And now, I shall step off my soapbox and stomp the hell out of the evil I speak of. Giggity.

Friday, September 13, 2013

BITS OF TID - Friday the 13th Edition

 FIRST LADY WATER BROKE?

So now idiots are bashing the First Lady because she just advises to drink more water?? Water???? Cheeses Flocking Crispness...ever since I was a little kid, always was advised to drink more water to 1. clean out your kidneys, 2. clean out poisons from your body, 3. to stay hydrated, 4. to have before meals to make you less prone to over-eat, etc., etc. We're 70% water, so what the hell is the big deal? I suppose if she said breathe more deeply they'd be chasing her with pitchforks??? Take a tranq, people. And stop watching Fox News. It's rotting your brain.

BETTE DAVIS EYES??
So Julie Chen had surgery on her eyes to make her look less Asian so she could get better jobs? Did I wake up in mofuggin Taliban City or is this America? Cheeses H Crackerjack, this racist bullpuckey is getting old.

BRAINLESS AMOEBAS WANT TO ENGULF YOUR BRAIN
CNN doing a story on "is your water safe" and they're saying it's okay to drink, just don't get it up your nose or an amoeba might eat your brain???!! What in the happy horse hockey hell on hamburger hill? I guess getting that Brita water bottle was a good decision after all.

JUMPIN' JACK FLASH IT'S A NATURAL GAS
To the chick on that ad for America's Natural Gas....if you think riding a bus running on natural gas is "doing your part" to help the environment, you're as delusional as that annoying valley girl accent of yours. "Doing your part" is riding a bike to work instead of getting in the SUV gas guzzler you have in your driveway you use to go two blocks to buy an overpriced Latte. Doing your part is to stop buying microwave meals with packaging that causes landfills to be larger than football fields and get off your lazy ass and make a f#ckin' salad or even a sandwich and throw it in a Tupperware for lunch at work. Turn off the lights in rooms you don't use. Don't run the faucet for an hour just to get colder water. Just some small "doing your part" things. Riding a bus ain't cuttin' it, hun. Rilly? Fer sure.




INSTANT GRAMIFICATION
Instagram...when your mom finds out you're pregnant.


FRIDAY THE 13TH IS A WEE HOLLOW
It's going to be spooky today as it's Friday the 13th. 13 is 31 backwards so October Friday the 13th may be the harbinger of very strange things...like John Boehner becoming a democrat for a day, or Ted Cruz becoming normal for a day, or Putin on the Ritz Cracker wearing lipstick, a tu-tu and of course, no shirt.

FINAL THOUGHT
Eternal, unconditional love to the people suffering from the floods in Colorado, the people whose livelihoods were destroyed in Seaside Heights, NJ by fire, and the refugees from Syria who are starving to death as a result of the brutal Assad regime.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

The President's Real Strategy For Syria

The POTUS' strategy all along has been to rattle sabers to get Syria and the world community to flinch, and they have. Obama is not a war monger and while it seemed he was (he fooled even me for a while, and I have a well honed bullshit-o-meter I rented from Will Smith's Agent J), we know now the strategy was merely to threaten military action to get the mice to scurrying. If the Russian proposal is serious (it's in their best interest to prevent extremists from having access to Chem weapons), then Asshat a.k.a. Bashar "Skinny Hitler" Al-ASSad will make nice and we can start focusing on cleaning up our own doorstep for a change. 

Besides, Congress has to get back to trying to defund the Health Care Act, take the US into a lower credit rating with S&P with yet another debt ceiling debacle, shut down the government so Social Security recipients and veterans will be even poorer, and not doing anything constructive for yet another year until people wise up and vote them out in 2014.