Thursday, May 20, 2010

Apocalypso - Thrilling Drilling Thursday Edition!

NORTH KOREA PREPPED TO GO TO WAR OVER SHIP SINKING

SEOUL, South Korea (AP) – North Korea, accused of waging the deadliest attack on the South Korean military since the Korean War, flatly denied sinking a warship Thursday and warned that retaliation would mean "all-out war."

Evidence presented Thursday to prove North Korea fired a torpedo that sank a South Korean ship was fabricated by Seoul, North Korean naval spokesman Col. Pak In Ho told broadcaster APTN in an exclusive interview in Pyongyang.

He warned that any move to sanction or strike North Korea would be met with force.

"If (South Korea) tries to deal any retaliation or punishment, or if they try sanctions or a strike on us .... we will answer to this with all-out war," he told APTN.

An international team of civilian and military investigators declared earlier in Seoul that a North Korean submarine fired a homing torpedo at the Cheonan on March 26, ripping the 1,200-ton ship in two.

Fifty-eight sailors were rescued, but 46 died — South Korea's worst military disaster since a truce ended the three-year Korean War in 1953.

President Lee Myung-bak vowed to take "resolute countermeasures" and called an emergency security meeting for Friday.

Holey Gloves! While I think this is just some sabre rattling on the part of cash-strapped North Korea, it will not surprise me if we're involved in still another war, which, of course, will be motivated more about money than saving anybody. Kim Jong sure be Illin these days. Maybe he's channeling Napolean...or Ryan Seacrest.

DENIM DIAPERS

Baby can now take a dump in style. First of all, I am confuzzled as to how "take a dump" got into the Lexicon. Don't you actually give it? Sort of like, "giving a shit" or "not giving a shit?" It's bad enough Kiwis, Ozzies and Brits are unable to understand us, let alone space aliens.

But I digress.

When I saw this Huggies Denim Diapers story on MS-NBC today (talk about product placement...and I am), I had to laugh. Not just at the way Huggies are shilling their product by making it newsworthy to save on ad money, but at the entire idea of something clearly and utterly disposable (used diapers are not exactly a collector's item unless perhaps they had belonged to and were worn by, say, Megan Fox) is made into a premium. These trendy diapers are only available in June and July and after that...gone like a clean Gulf Coast.

I am wondering if oil was the source material in some way for these as then that would bring the ire out of irony. So, this summer, your baby can take a dump in style - OR - you can get some cloth diapers, a bucket filled with water and bleach to soak them, and go green at the same time by washing them in COLD water. Can you imagine the BILLIONS of dumped in and dumped in the dump diapers there are in this country? If we were to collect all of them, I am sure the methane alone would power New York City and Los Angeles into the next century.

Yep, I've devoted way, way too much time on this story...but if I dissuaded someone from using disposable diapers for a day or even for good, it was worth it.

ANTI-IMMIGRANT SPRING FEVER

Well, it would seem most Americans, if you go by the polls, actually support the Arinazi...oops...Arizona Anti-Immigrant bill. As America swings so far to the right that Hitler's bones are rattling, one has to wonder what the results are going to be and whether the backlash against folks of a brownish tint will lead to the Second Civil War. Hmmm, the First Civil War was also about people of color.

When I think of it, it reminds me a little of Star Trek TOS (you know, classic Trek with Shatner and Nimoy) where two alien races were fighting each other over their color differences. Both aliens were striped black and white, so Kirk was a little confused as to why they hated each other over color when they appeared to be identical. Then one of the aliens said, in so many words, "he's black on the right side and I'm black on the left side." The episode did not have a happy ending, and neither will the brewing hate mongering, much of which comes from supporters of the Tea Party, 99% of which are affluent, older white folks. Hmmm, can you see a pattern here?

Maybe we should be a little more like really young children, who are less inclined to hate someone over such temporal and petty things like color, creed, sex, religion, economic or social status. Whether white folks like it or not, America is a melting pot of many colors, creeds, religions, economic and social status. I am thinking that some of those getting nervous are reading statistics that say by 2050, people of color will outnumber whites.

The bottom line is a universal constant - we are all souls experiencing the physical body and regardless of the color of our shell, the soul is universal and we are all one and the same. While I wanted to hang myself every time the cartoon "Care Bears" would come on, I get what the message generally said, which was pretty much "Let's all get along" or even "We are one."

I am the first to admit that I have a hard time with this concept, especially since I have been conditioned to become part of this polarized world. As I make often failed attempts at getting rid of self importance, the aspect of existence that causes drama, I find myself veering a little more toward Universal Soul. I'll tell you something, though, when you embrace "nobodyness" over "somebodyness," you'll get a lot closer to what you perceive as God. Noticing this is a first step, but boy, the rest is a hurdle! Maybe I need to put up a big sign in my office - "Judge Not, Lest Ye Not Be Judged."

For now, though, I'm having fun making fun of this temporal world.

Peace, y'all!

Be cool, be nobody's fool and don't dismiss the bliss™

Quantum Mechanic®

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Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Apocalypso - Weird-Ass Wednesday WD-40 Edition!

Titillating Tough Titty Tidbits

SPECTER BECOMES A SPECTRE


Just as I was getting a handle on a voice impression of Arlen Specter, Joe Sestak kicks his ass!  Sestak, a former Admiral in the Navy, won the Pennsylvania Democratic primary for the upcoming Senate election.  It's not only a clear sign of anti-incumbent fever, but it's time for Arlen to hang it up.  Besides, Arlen, bless his heart, can't seem to remember whether to thank Republicans or Democrats when he's at a rally.

GOOOOOOD MORNIN', AFGHAN-NAM!!


A Trillion Dollars so far spent in Afghanistan - a useless war, while 17% of people in this country remain out of work, an oil slick well beyond the size of my ass ruins the Gulf Coast, and the Pee Farty (Tea Party for you noobs) complains about all the stuff BIG GOVERNMENT is taking away from them. Stuff that exists only in their deluded minds.  That Trillion dollars could have gone to fund Medicare for everyone, boost education, and provide small business loans to create and maintain jobs.  Typical humanity - they'll spend a quarter to save a nickel.  Of course, with inflation, it's more like spending a dollar to save a penny.

MISSED USA

Rima Fakih, the first Arab-American to win the Miss USA pageant is at the center of a Fox News fueled conspiracy theory that she won because the chick from Oklahoma was pro-Papers Please (The Arizona Anti-Immigrant Law for you noobs).  Also, folks are pulling their hair out over some pics of Rima doing some pole dancing.  After laughing at these two news stories for a few minutes, I have to just say this: Get A Frickin' Life.  Rima won fair and square and besides, it's a beauty pageant!  It's not rocket science!  She is cute, though, and quite frankly, more aptly represents the true diversity of Americans.

GULF COAST IS FUBAR


The Gulf Coast is slicker than snot on a doorknob and Be Pee (British Petroleum for you noobs) is still scratching themselves wondering how to stop the underwater gusher in the environmental epic fail of the century.  Since the Mineral Management Service and the Oil Companies pretty much are strange bedfellows in this matter, one can only wonder how many other drill/spill situations are waiting for us.  All I know is that I no longer drive, use public transport whenever I can, and plan to completely go Solar within the next year or so.  After all, I get mad as the Hulk, might as well go Green like him, too.  It's funny that we're doing this "drill, baby, drill" thing offshore when there's plenty of oil right here on land.  Ever hear of the Bakken Formation?  Here's an article about it. 

Anyhizzle for shizzle™, I'm thinking that "I'm feeling like the Gulf Coast," might just as well become part of our lexicon, with this visual representation:

 

HEROES DEMISE = TV THIS FALL IS AS SEXY AS A FUNERAL

NBC Universal cancels HEROES yet renews STARGATE UNIVERSE!  Man, I need to find out what drugs the executives in programming are on as I want some of that!  SGU sucks so hard that not even light can escape that black hole.  While HEROES had become over complicated and had way too many characters coming and going or dying or coming back to life, it still had Hayden Panettiere (she's the Whoo in Whoo Hoo!) and generally good writing and acting.  I am hoping Heroes showrunner Tim Kring will convince the network to resolve unfinished storylines with a HEROES movie by 2011. 

I have tried to like STARGATE UNIVERSE, but it's so NOT Stargate-y!  It's like the producers of that show smoked some bad weed and thought, "hey, let's have a soap opera in space just like Battlestar Galactica, only even more depressing and for 12 year olds who don't get laid!" 

The last episode was so bad, I could only get through about 30 seconds of the prologue before just switching to Rachel Maddow for the rest of the hour.  I do love you, Rachel, but sometimes, I just gotta get some Sci Fi on Friday Nights! 

Don't get me wrong, I love NBC Universal, but they have made some really bad decisions, aside from renaming the Sci Fi Channel, SY FY. 


It's like I have always said, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it!"

GODDESS DAMMIT!

As Solamaine, the omnipotent singer in my screenplay of the same name would say, "It really doesn't matter, and in a split nanosecond, you won't even BE matter."

Be cool, be nobody's fool and don't dismiss the bliss™

Quantum Mechanic®

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