Monday, August 2, 2010

Quantum Quips #5: Justin Bieber's Writing A Memoir??!!

Quantum Quips #5 - Justin Bieber writing a memoir?!

Current mood:chairman of the bored stiff

BE AFRAID....BE VERY AFRAID.... IT'S QUANTUM QUIPS #5!

I'm going to try to avoid politics this time as it just makes me all Mel Gibson-y and I really don't want to stress what's left of my little black heart.

JUSTIN BIEBER TO RELEASE MEMOIR?!

A memoir? Who is he, Ghandi? He can sing, I grant you that, but hells bells, all this attention to celebrities as if they were Gods is about as useful to society as a 57 megaton hydrogen bomb. In other words, get a frickin' life. And Biebs, old sod, you're just a singer, not God's gift to mankind. If indeed you were the gift, I'd sure as hell hate to see the punishment.

Remember when folks like Nelson Mandella, Bishop Desmond Tutu, Mother Teresa actually were thought of as celebs? Now, we have singers, jailbirds, narcissistic athletes [cough] Lebron and the like. C'mon, America, find your heroes in folks who actually DO SOMETHING for society. Oy and vay.

SYFY'S MOVIES SUCK SO HARD THE SUPERMASSIVE BLACK HOLE AT THE CENTER OF THE MILKY WAY IS JEALOUS

Fixing the HDTV, I had the sci-fi channel on to test audio and there's a movie about a shark attacking a big passenger plane in mid-air.

Give. Me. A. Frickin'. Break.

Syfy™, or whatever you want to call yourselves this year, did you actually PAY somebody for that script? I could write better material drunk and after two consecutive lobotomies. Oy and vay, again.

BTW, the shark in the movie is called Megalodon.  Hmmm...sounds like a mafia boss who has had way too many pizzas.  Oy and double vay.

THERE'S ACTUALLY A MICHAEL JACKSON CASINO GOING ONLINE

...and your winnings will be paid in Propofol.  "When it's proper to fall, try Propofol!" Honestly, anybody who would actually spend their hard-earned or even stolen cash on an online casino has got to be brain dead or at least lobotomized. The shills who put out such a thing should be strung up by their thumbs and then shot in front of a public firing squad. What's next, shares in the Brooklyn Bridge?  Cheesits H. Crispness™.

LINDSAY LOHAN RELEASED FROM HOOSEGOW

The press made this into as important a story as when Wikileaks leaked those supposedly classified documents. It seems that our society and our media are obsessed with 1. criminal stupidity or just 2. plain stupidity.

I care about her doing anything about as much as I care about how many blades of grass are on my neighbor's lawn after my imaginary dog pee'd on it. In other words, I don't give a shit to the level that two train cars of Ex-Lax would not help™.

Get a life, people, these people are not celebrities. Celebrities are folks like Mahatma Ghandi, Mikail Gorbachev, or Nelson Mandela, who just had a birthday and the news barely mentioned him.

Peace and peas, ya'll™.

Quantum Mechanic®

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Soup Poll: Lilo's Rehab Redux

Reports say LiLo is a bipolar meth freak. Can it be true?

      40.0% Outrageous. As Samantha Ronson will tell you, Lindsay's only bipolar curious
      20.0% UCLA? At least she's going to college
      20.0% No way. She’s obviously just a bipolar alcoholic
      20.0% No big deal. It’s all part of the script. This is a reality show, right?