Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Apocalypso - Weird-Ass Wednesday WD-40 Edition!

Titillating Tough Titty Tidbits

SPECTER BECOMES A SPECTRE


Just as I was getting a handle on a voice impression of Arlen Specter, Joe Sestak kicks his ass!  Sestak, a former Admiral in the Navy, won the Pennsylvania Democratic primary for the upcoming Senate election.  It's not only a clear sign of anti-incumbent fever, but it's time for Arlen to hang it up.  Besides, Arlen, bless his heart, can't seem to remember whether to thank Republicans or Democrats when he's at a rally.

GOOOOOOD MORNIN', AFGHAN-NAM!!


A Trillion Dollars so far spent in Afghanistan - a useless war, while 17% of people in this country remain out of work, an oil slick well beyond the size of my ass ruins the Gulf Coast, and the Pee Farty (Tea Party for you noobs) complains about all the stuff BIG GOVERNMENT is taking away from them. Stuff that exists only in their deluded minds.  That Trillion dollars could have gone to fund Medicare for everyone, boost education, and provide small business loans to create and maintain jobs.  Typical humanity - they'll spend a quarter to save a nickel.  Of course, with inflation, it's more like spending a dollar to save a penny.

MISSED USA

Rima Fakih, the first Arab-American to win the Miss USA pageant is at the center of a Fox News fueled conspiracy theory that she won because the chick from Oklahoma was pro-Papers Please (The Arizona Anti-Immigrant Law for you noobs).  Also, folks are pulling their hair out over some pics of Rima doing some pole dancing.  After laughing at these two news stories for a few minutes, I have to just say this: Get A Frickin' Life.  Rima won fair and square and besides, it's a beauty pageant!  It's not rocket science!  She is cute, though, and quite frankly, more aptly represents the true diversity of Americans.

GULF COAST IS FUBAR


The Gulf Coast is slicker than snot on a doorknob and Be Pee (British Petroleum for you noobs) is still scratching themselves wondering how to stop the underwater gusher in the environmental epic fail of the century.  Since the Mineral Management Service and the Oil Companies pretty much are strange bedfellows in this matter, one can only wonder how many other drill/spill situations are waiting for us.  All I know is that I no longer drive, use public transport whenever I can, and plan to completely go Solar within the next year or so.  After all, I get mad as the Hulk, might as well go Green like him, too.  It's funny that we're doing this "drill, baby, drill" thing offshore when there's plenty of oil right here on land.  Ever hear of the Bakken Formation?  Here's an article about it. 

Anyhizzle for shizzle™, I'm thinking that "I'm feeling like the Gulf Coast," might just as well become part of our lexicon, with this visual representation:

 

HEROES DEMISE = TV THIS FALL IS AS SEXY AS A FUNERAL

NBC Universal cancels HEROES yet renews STARGATE UNIVERSE!  Man, I need to find out what drugs the executives in programming are on as I want some of that!  SGU sucks so hard that not even light can escape that black hole.  While HEROES had become over complicated and had way too many characters coming and going or dying or coming back to life, it still had Hayden Panettiere (she's the Whoo in Whoo Hoo!) and generally good writing and acting.  I am hoping Heroes showrunner Tim Kring will convince the network to resolve unfinished storylines with a HEROES movie by 2011. 

I have tried to like STARGATE UNIVERSE, but it's so NOT Stargate-y!  It's like the producers of that show smoked some bad weed and thought, "hey, let's have a soap opera in space just like Battlestar Galactica, only even more depressing and for 12 year olds who don't get laid!" 

The last episode was so bad, I could only get through about 30 seconds of the prologue before just switching to Rachel Maddow for the rest of the hour.  I do love you, Rachel, but sometimes, I just gotta get some Sci Fi on Friday Nights! 

Don't get me wrong, I love NBC Universal, but they have made some really bad decisions, aside from renaming the Sci Fi Channel, SY FY. 


It's like I have always said, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it!"

GODDESS DAMMIT!

As Solamaine, the omnipotent singer in my screenplay of the same name would say, "It really doesn't matter, and in a split nanosecond, you won't even BE matter."

Be cool, be nobody's fool and don't dismiss the bliss™

Quantum Mechanic®

BROUGHT TO YOU BY

Check out my new camcorder line - this one is SOLAR POWERED (can also run on batteries) and only $199.99 with free Fedex Shipping anywhere in the USA!